Saturday, February 21, 2009

The Case of the Nice Lunch Lady

Today I got to musing about a lunch lady I had while in college 20 years ago. She was a really nice woman who decided to take an interest in me right after my mother’s death.

Here is the story….
After mom’s death I had to fend for myself and got an apartment, which came with the usual assortment of bills. I was definitely a part of what people call the “working poor.” The people who do their best every day and work hard in an effort to make ends meet. It seemed I was always one catastrophe away from default, living by the paycheck. In addition to this I was attending college at night taking a few classes.

At the time, I had my friends saving me all of their proof of purchases so I could send away for rebates. I always shopped at the place with double coupons. What ever rebate checks I got that week was my food budget for the week. Usually around 10 dollars a week plus a couple of free items. On Saturday’s I would bum a ride downtown to the farmers market and haggle with the vendors. I liked to arrive right before they closed so I could snag a good price for whatever they didn’t want to go home with. One time I even got a pineapple for 30 cents. What a treat!

Of course, not eating much did help control my size. As my weight diminished, it did not go unnoticed by the lunch lady behind the school cafeteria serving line. She always eyed me and would try to find a way to strike up a conversation. Eventually, she found out about mom and the struggles financially. She always had a smile on her face when she saw me. She started bringing me food items, saying things like, “hey I made some muffins last night, and I brought you one to try.” Other times it could be an extra half of sandwich, or a cookie. I was not oblivious to her genuine feelings of concern for me. Her acts of kindness were heartfelt and I appreciated them very much.

Her most obvious gesture was the morning pancakes. The school offered two pancakes for 50 cents. I would always try to get them to sell me only one. As a general rule they didn’t want to do that but this lady convinced them to let me be the exception. She was the cook, so when I ordered my one pancake she was the chef pouring the mix. You can probably guess that mine was always twice the size of a normal pancake. Huge actually, taking up the entire plate. Some of the kids would look enviously at my lone pancake wishing it was their breakfast instead of mine. She also arranged for me to have a “coffee sponsor” which was someone who would buy me a coffee in the morning. What a gal!!

I chuckled to myself today when I thought of this special lunch lady, and have this message for her…
“To the exceedingly kind lunch lady who decided to make a difference in a young adult’s life..... You forever touched my heart with your acts of kindness, and you unknowingly became a blueprint for my desire to help others as you once helped me. Thank- you and Godspeed!”

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A 25+ Year Promise Finally Fulfilled!

Great news, I have finally fulfilled a 25+ year promise to myself. Here are the details.....

Way back when I was just out of high school my mother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. I was scheduled to head off to college at Northwestern but changed my plans and stayed local so I could help with her care. My mom fought hard to beat the disease but it won out in the end. My sister Pouty Baby was also involved with her care.

The pain and suffering she endured near end the end of her life is forever burned in my memory. No one should ever have to suffer the way that she did nor die as early as she did, in her early 40's. I learned very early on the adage "Life is not fair."

Pouty and I spent a lot of time at the hospital near the end. We dutifully and lovingly spent time visiting her as she did not want to be left alone. In her last few days, our mom started hallucinating that the devil had arrived to take her and was laughing at her as she suffered. It was very sad to witness and experience. We just had to "suck it up" and not show her how much we were also suffering as we watched her die.

We took turns staying with her. One of us would be stuck in the awful family waiting room with the hideously uncomfortable chairs, the harsh lighting, the stark walls. Neither of us wanted to leave nor did we want to be in that room. We were both emotionally and physically uncomfortable.

It was then that I made a promise to myself.... "I don't know when, or how, but someday I am going to help someone not suffer due to the surroundings of a lousy waiting room while their loved one's are are receiving care." I never forgot that promise to myself.

About two year's ago the local hospital was building a new surgical center. They had a need for a donor for their family waiting room. After much discussion, my husband I decided to make the donation to build the waiting room. I recently got the call that our waiting room was completed and the plaque was hung. People were starting to enjoy the comfortable chairs, tasteful decorations, kitchen area, and computer access! I started to cry when the woman told me the news. A triumphant "Yes - It's Finally Come to Pass!" shouted in my thoughts.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

What's In It For Me?

Have you ever willingly volunteered to get involved and help out your community? Maybe just something small at first, like volunteering to help clean up the local park? Then slowly you find yourself getting more involved and your activity moves to something more time consuming and significant?

Well, that is how it was for me volunteering at the local hospital. It started innocently enough about 10 years ago when I volunteered to help with a golf tournament raffle and sold tickets to the attendees. It was exhilarating to hear we had raised nearly $75,000 to help patient programs. I was hooked!

As the year's have flown by, I have been involved in all sorts of fund raising projects, Run/Walks, concerts, art shows, fashion shows, holiday memorials, and more. Of course, the reward for doing a good job is more work! And so, over the years I have advanced through ranks and am now President.

Being President of a volunteer group takes more work that I ever expected, dreamed or imagined. Motivating non paid volunteers is clearly the most work I have ever expended for no paycheck. So why do I bother?? Because it's actually rewarding to be able to help someone else and step away from my personal drama for a time.

My personal "non-paycheck" reward seems to be the thank-you notes stemming from our non-fundraising projects we provide to the patients. Those would include our cancer quilt program where each new patient gets a handmade quilt, the teddy bears we sew for the scared and frightened pediatric patients visiting the emergency room, the free acupuncture gift certificates we provide the chemotherapy patients, and the homemade pediatric pillow cases provided by the ConKerr group. These are the things that make it all seem worthwhile!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Putting Things in Perspective

Nicci's Musing....

Have you ever had one of those days where you thought that people were "out to get you?" Or that Mr. Murphy himself personally visited you to deliver the cliche "whatever can go wrong will go wrong?" Then there is the day where it seems that you make everyone around you mad. Or when there is some strange nebulous vibe going on around you that you can't quite comprehend, but you swear deep down its there? Or how about the day when people just stare at you and you wonder what they are staring at, "gee do I have something in my teeth?" And then one of my least favorites, when every time you touch something it breaks, warps and generally becomes useless, there-by hindering your entire day's productivity.

I know that we have all experienced these days in some form or another. I call these sorts of days "Perspective Days." They are the days that make our good days seem more glorious. They put good things that happen everyday on a new level, something to cherish. I find that when I become engulfed in the funk of life, I take a step back and start to ponder. I force myself to make a mental list with the top 5 things that make me happy, something that went right, or think about the people I love and who love me. Usually my perspective starts to shift as my thoughts move to the more positive things causing the negatives to fade to the background. This helps get my out of my funk and gain a new perspective. To quote Winnie the Pooh "I like the happy bouncy Tigger better!"

Monday, February 2, 2009

Don't Underestimate Determination

Hello,

My musing today is about the power of perseverance and determination.

Here goes the story....

My daughter had a significant accident while snow tubing on a school outing. One of the kids was breaking the rules (a faculty kid) and caused the injury. The injury itself involved the labral which is within the shoulder housing. It helps keep the rotator cuff in place. Up until the accident, my daughter was a star swimmer. She was one week shy of championships for the season and was seeded 1st and 2nd in two events. She was a lean, mean, swimming machine. The injury immediately caused her to be dropped from the championships. She was told by the shoulder specialists that she might never swim again. The doctors refused to clear her for sports so she had to sit on the bench for the next 10 months. She was destined to be a couch potato!

The poor kid had to wear a sling for months, endured numerous tests, met with many doctors, and survived through 10 months of rehabilitation. At the last meeting, the pediatric shoulder specialist from Children's hospital said that her injury was the worst possible kind, had about a 20% success rate if they tried to operate, and basically she was deemed to have a permanent disability. I was sad because I knew how much swimming meant to her. You can only imagine the thoughts going through my head~ I wanted justice, I wanted the girl to pay for what she did to my kid. Bitter, unkind thoughts filled my head, I was burdened by anger.

Not so with my daughter, she was a kind, tender hearted person, and acted like she was the adult. She was the one who had to comfort me and tell me that justice wasn't necessary. How had the roles gotten reversed? She went on to say that she never even told the girl that she was responsible for the injury. I asked why, and her answer was astounding, "mom, how do you think the girl would live with herself knowing she caused me so much pain?" I sat stunned, in silence, staring at her, pondering her words. My child was compassionate, a trait we don't see much of anymore. I learned from her that day.

The specialist said that because the injury couldn't get worse, she should try whatever sport she wanted to see if she could handle the pain. So, my kid went for it and started swimming again. She started gradually, one event only. The first time she got on the block I was petrified. I watched in horror as she had to place her dislocated shoulder back in place just before the race. Fear and panic was winning in my mind, I wanted to run and pull her off the block and tell her you can't do that, you might get hurt!!! She was determined to swim again, and swim she did! She not only swam the race without further injury, she won the race! My head was screaming OMG OMG OMG look at her!! Tears misted my eyes, could this really be happening? The next meet, she did fantastic and set a new team record. Then at the next meet she won her event and set another team record in a different event. So much for the pessimism of the doctors, so much for my fear. And yeah to the power of determination to push beyond what others thought was impossible.